There has to be a point in every cats life when they realize that they just did something stupid; when they run behind the

couch and, according to the legendary comedian George Carlin, slap paw to head and howl out “F*&$*ng Meow. 

My daughter’s kitten had her moment today when she thwarted the laws of nature and in mid-flight, suddenly came face to face with the realization that for every violent action, there is an equal and just as violent reaction.  In her usual morning ‘ kitten run through the house as fast as you can’ moment, she came nose to tail with this old law.

In the spirit of the summer Olympics, her ‘never-before-attempted’ running broad jump from the back of the recliner to the couch was to be her moment of feline glory.  However, the recliner was not to be toyed with.  It “reacted”, (naturally) by doing what it does best.  It reclined – violently.  That’s when I saw it; that “stop action” moment, when the human mind records the feline equivalent of “Oh Crap!”

Did she see me – see her?  Of course she did, but she was too busy to look “cat cool” and that’s when the second myth was shattered.  You can rewrite all text that records “cats always land on their feet.”  I have news for you – they don’t.  They attempt to make up for it by looking as if they meant to land on the side with their head stuck behind their back leg and their tail stuck in the ear.  They do this by imitating their best Fonzy move, jumping up quickly.

This action shatters the third rule of cat mythology.  The rule that says all cats are graceful.   When cats are ungraceful, (as this one was) in their haste to get away, they scatter everything collected on the table – to the floor – including the full cup of coffee.  Then, (this is the best part) they run straight behind the couch – where I am sure they – in the cat’s equivalence of disbelief, slap the old paw to face.

As I write this, hours later, after having cleaned up the last dregs of the overturned coffee and put the table back in order, she has yet to come out from behind the couch.  She knows I am writing about her.  She hears me chuckling between key strokes.  I know this because I hear her “cat muttering” under her breath.  Poor kitty.  Chuckle.

——–

About Julie

Julie Clark is a homemaker, mother, teacher of special needs children and an entrepreneur.   As a teacher with a long history of teaching students in the elementary grades, she obtained her credentials for Special Need teaching and advocacy late in her career, because – as she puts it, “these kids need to be taken out of the corner and given a voice.”

As a means to lessen the stress that comes when one deals with bureaucracy, Julie – her Mother-in-Law and her daughter, opened the Mom & Me Vintage Linens and Lace shops late in 2011.  Now with two locations in Colorado Springs, (The Treasure Shoppe – downtown CS and American Classics on N. Academy) she has managed to gather a rich following of friends and steady customers who look forward to seeing her come in with an armload of vintage linens, fine lace and the occasional vintage purse or pillow to round out her diverse selection.

Julie can be reached by JClark@Linens2Lace.com .  You can also follow her blog at Linens2Lace.wordPress.com, and her Tweets at #MomNMe.